April 5, 2006

Gaps Are Getting Filled, Except Between The Fundies Ears


Yep, those "Darwinian Gaps" them Fundies are crying about, wind up showing up more and more with each and every fossil find, yuppims. I like this particular find because it comes from the Great White North, and I know, that as a member of Ontario blogs, that I have a quasi-commitment, to have some Canadian content every now and then.
This particular find occurred in the Canadian Arctic and it is extremely important because, "fossil records showed a gap between Panderichthys, a fish that lived about 385 million years ago which shows early signs of evolving land-friendly features, and Acanthostega, the earliest known tetrapod (four-limbed land-living animals) dating from about 365 million years ago." This pre-Canadian creature, the Tiktaalik Roseae(sounds like a wine), was predicted, and voila, was finally found.

'The creature shares some characteristics with a fish; it has fins with webbing, and scales on its back.
But it also has many features in common with land animals. It has a flat crocodile-like head with eyes positioned on top and the beginnings of a neck - something not seen in fish.
"When we look inside the fin, we see a shoulder, we see an elbow, and we see an early version of a wrist, which is very similar to that of all animals that also walk on land," said palaeontologists Professor Neil Shubin, from the University of Chicago.
The scientists think the creature lived in the shallows
"Essentially we have an animal that is built to support itself on the ground."
The scientists believe the position of the creature's eyes suggest it probably lived in shallow water.'

Update (thanks to an anonymous reader):
A short video of the findings can be found here.

Isn't science wonderful. Here we have a theory called evolution, and a find is made.
And the find fits in perfectly with what the theory predicted. Of course, the literal bible made no such prediction or even prophecy about this find.


OK, lets ask the three top Fundy scientists about the find:



Professor Hearn Oevil: "Those bones can't be more than 6000 years old, just look at them. Anything older than that of course didn't exist, because God didn't create diddly until then. But scientifically speaking, anything 6000 years old would be dust by now, the fact it aint dust means it can't be too old."

Professor Seeno Evil: "What a wonderful carved stone you have there. Must have been done by one of those Nanookian Eskimos you got up there in Canada. Great work, I didn't even know they had the tools to carve those things."

Professor Spea Knoevil: "Ah, you found another relic that God put on this glorious planet when he created it around 6000 years ago. Just like all the oil He put in the ground so that we can drive our cars all the way to heaven when the Rapture comes. I don't know for sure, because God works in mysterious ways, but I think He put all these so called fossils on this earth so that we wouldn't have that much traffic on Rapture day. Only us pure Christians get to drive to heaven. God bless you, I will pray for your soul."

GEORGE CARLIN: THERE IS NO GOD


It contains foul language in case you are at work or there are kids in the room. I've had creative writer's block since my April Fool's Day post, but I'm hoping it is temporary, so by posting classics I realize I'm taking the easy way out. Oh yeah, I added a MULTIMEDIA section on my sidebar.

Thanks to God Is For Suckers for the link. If you haven't already, check that site out. It is one of the best, if not best, Atheist site on the net.

Here are some Carlin Quotes:

“Frisbeetarianism is the belief that when you die, your soul goes up on the roof and gets stuck.”

“The only good thing ever to come out of religion was the music”

“If God had intended us not to masturbate he would've made our arms shorter”

“If churches want to play the game of politics, let them pay admission like everyone else”

“I have as much authority as the Pope, I just don't have as many people who believe it.”

“Religion is just mind control”

Some more:

We created God in our own image and likeness.

I credit that eight years of grammar school with nourishing me in a direction where I could trust myself and trust my instincts. They gave me the tools to reject my faith. They taught me to question and think for myself and to believe in my instincts to such an extent that I just said, 'This is a wonderful fairy tale they have going here, but it's not for me.

Religion convinced the world that there's an invisible man in the sky who watches everything you do. And there's 10 things he doesn't want you to do or else you'll to to a burning place with a lake of fire until the end of eternity. But he loves you! ...And he needs money! He's all powerful, but he can't handle money!

Religion is sort of like a lift in your shoes. If it makes you feel better, fine. Just don't ask me to wear your shoes.

I finally accepted Jesus. not as my personal savior, but as a man I intend to borrow money from.

I'm completely in favor of the separation of Church and State. My idea is that these two institutions screw us up enough on their own, so both of them together is certain death.

Ok, I might as well add this clip of George trimming down the 10 Commandments to only 2 Commandments. Again, there is some foul language:

April 4, 2006

PENN AND TELLER: THE BIBLE IS CRAPOLA



HERE IS A PENN AND TELLER VIDEO ON MIRACLES.
Courtesy of Yoism.org.

Warning: Fundies please don't watch this. It will make you very angry, and will magnify your hatred towards Atheists like me, and prove once again that Atheists are sent to this earth by the Devil.
Oh, and it contains foul language as well.

NOTE: A whole slew of Penn and Teller clips are available here. They are very easy to embed onto a blog. Thanks to everyone who linked me.

April 3, 2006

KISSING HANK'S ASS




WARNING:
VIEWING THE ABOVE CLIP MAY CAUSE FUNDIES TO ACTUALLY THINK. I doubt many will be able to laugh at it. Most of them will just get angry or defensive.

No Atheist site is complete without this video.
Of course, having this video on your site doesn't mean your site is necessarily complete either. That would be Fundy logic.

Anyone interested in the basis for this clip. The original script can be found here.

Here are some Hankisms and how Hank may be interpretted by other faiths and even the faithless.

April 1, 2006

ATHEIST ARRESTED FOR PULLING PRAYER STUDY HOAX

April 1, 2006

Prayer Study Faked; Atheist Arrested
by Keith Peterson, Washington, D.C., correspondent
Listen Online!
Check Out Our Weekend Edition!

Maybe you heard recently about the new study that claimed "distant prayer" is no help for victims of heart bypass surgery, and actually shows to be possibly detrimental to those who were actually prayed for.

Well it turns out that the supposed $2.4 million study that was funded by the John Templeton Foundation, which supports religious studies, and the Baptist Memorial Health Care Corporation, was actually a complete hoax perpetrated by an Atheist, Paul Rogers or Minneapolis, Minnesota.

The fraud was uncovered by yours truly, who happened to get a hold of Raymond Flood, a director of the John Templeton Foundation who said, "we would not spend that kind of money to try to disprove something as obvious as the impact prayer has on the sickly. It is evident to everyone on this planet, that God sometimes cures the ill and sometimes doesn't. It all depends on what God wants to do, and if he is busy and doesn't notice a sickly person, prayer is the only thing that will alert God into action, or inaction. Depending on how He feels, of course."

Mr. Rogers was arrested Saturday afternoon by Home Security officers. Asked how he was able to pull of such a scam, Rogers said, "people are pretty gullible, especially the news media. It was easy, I just sounded real professional." Rogers then said he was very disappointed that the story broke earlier than he wanted it too, "I was hoping this would make headlines on April 1st, instead I'm getting arrested on this day, bummer." Asked why, Rogers said, "as your typical Atheist, I just hate God."

Rogers will appear in court on Monday, and since there is no death penalty in Minnesota, he will likely face 30 years to life for religious slander and news fabrication designed to upset the Religious Right.